Coupon Links --

View the spreadsheet here ( you can download and sort it ) and just let me know the code and I'll send them to you.

View the HTML/Web Version here.

Clipping is therapy for me. I got about 100 today, for a savings of over $180.

First come, first served.

Coupons!!!

I'm starting up a list of all the coupons I have. If anyone wants some, let me know and I'll mail them to you!

I'll let you know when I finish the list.

Changes...

They are a-hapnin'.

I have 3 days left at the office. I decided to make them 1/2 days. So I'm out by 12pm each day.

I have been thinking of what kind of part-time job I want. Now's my chance to find something I like and go for it. Sooo, I was thinking that maybe Pet Sitting would be the way to go.

I adore animals, even ones I'm highly allergic too. I have had an animal in my life for as long as I can remember. When I didn't have one (a stint living with a coworker of mine), I was depressed. Then, we got Peeps. The most awesome, needy, whiney, little Bichon Frise.

Petsitting would be sporatic. Nothing set in stone. I'd be able to pick and choose which dates I want to work and everyting. I'd 1099 it all and be a contractor for hire...and then there would be those stints where I'd get paid 'under-the-table'. AWESOME!

I was contacted by a petsitting company looking for someone for dog walking in my area (near Princeton). I interviewed over the phone for about a half an hour today and I think, I got it! I meet with the owner on Monday, so she can show me what she does, so I at least have a clue when I start. She reassures me that because I'm 1099, I'm not obligated to say YES to any openings where she may need a petsitter. AWESOME STILL.

The catch? - It's not a steady income. The thing is, we don't need it right now. We can swing it so long as we're super frugal. My intention is that with the little bit of money I will be making -- will be for our 'entertainment'.

I also have another interview setup. It's tomorrow via phone, around 2pm. It's with a renewable energy technology company literally 5 minutes from my house. AWESOME AGAIN. It's a steady 20 hours a week. The pay is decent for a part time job. I'd be a receptionist/data analyst/HR-Benefits Administrator for this small company. This is something I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR! Working for a small company, doing receptionist type stuff. I know my technical skills will be under-utilized but my people skills... FINALLY, I can use those! I like helping people and any kind of customer service type of position is fulfilling to me!

I also applied to a daycare center to teach Music for Early Childhood Education. Since I have extensive experience in the field of Music (14 years) and studied it (albeit for a short time) .. I would be a perfect candidate. I'd be working with children, which I adore as much as animals, and I'd be utilizing my musical talents. I've worked with autistic kids while studying Music Therapy so I totally think I could handle it.

We'll see what happens.

I know Mike doesn't want me to jump into the petsitting thing, it's not a ton of pay, but it's FUN.

I think if I got offered the admin-ish position, I would take it for sure... if not, there's always the animals.

If....

I'm M.I.A. here, then I'm probably posting over here at my other site.

Feeling better...

It's been a few days since my last post, and the past few days have really been the first time I haven't cried... It seemed I was crying everyday, at random points. Not thinking about anything in particular. I think I was depressed, and maybe, I still am a little bit. But the change these past few days has been significant. I've felt a lot happier and a lot more energized. Thinking about the m/c still makes me sad -- but I don't feel 'down' if that makes sense.

A few factors that are attributing to my 'feeling better' may be :

• knowing that my last day on the job is Feb 27th. YAY!
  
• finally getting a chance to prep the house to sell and to just 'clean it up'
  
• looking forward to having a home cooked dinner with my hubby. FINALLY! Literally, it's been months. (no exaggeration) We just don't have the time or energy by the time we get home from work.
  
• being able to take care of my dog...help him deal with his separation anxiety
  
• planning a trip to San Francisco & Hawaii for my Family reunion this July.
  

And those are just a few. I really can't wait for a routine and organization. Time to clip coupons, etc!!

I'm learning to become more frugal, and have been stalking housewife blogs. LOL
It's extrememly satisfying using coupons. Free money! I can see how people who clip can't shop without the use of coupons. I think back to how we used to shop and now I feel like I was screwed paying full price for items when just a simple piece of paper would save me $$!!!

Looking ahead to the future is very positive for me.

1 month

Tomorrow will be 1 month since I've had my D&C. I still don't have my period. I have a lot of stressful things going on right now and I'm still trying to cope with the loss. I have contemplated leaving my job due to some hostile environment issues there and also not being able to cope with my loss the way I should be allowed to due to tyrants on the job. I want to get healthy again, I want to be happy. Sooo... after much thought, Mike & I agreed that leaving my job is the right decision. I'm very excited about leaving, which only validates my decision to go.

I was going to tell my boss last week but he was on vacation, so it'll have to wait until Tuesday. My last day will be February 27th, at which time I will take off for about a month, get the house in order and as close to 'ready to sell' as possible. I will also be looking for a part time 'easy' job in the meantime.

Talking about our loss is hard on me still. Each day it's getting a little easier for me to hide the pain. In the beginning I was numb..and always so the 'bright' side. Then I got really depressed, and I think I still am, but I'm starting to cope with that. Day by day is the only way.

shit shit shit shit --- shit

For those of you who know me, really well... i mean see me and/or interact with me on a daily basis... you know how stressed I am.

It's work. It's horrible. I get absolutely NO fulfillment out of it. I've had 5 directors in the past 2 years and things are just horrendous. Nothing is stable. There is drama. There are constant questions, tests, and scrutinization about everyone's jobs, how they are doing it and if they really need to be 'there'. When there aren't the questions, there are those people who feel they need to look out for themselves by sabotaging everyone else.

Just today, I got to be a part of a 'closed door' meeting where I was asked to name names of people who I do not believe are performing or at least not up to par. Are you kidding me?! Did I name names... NO, but someone else in the room with me sure did. Holy hell... I can only imagine if the person who asked us for these 'names' called other people into the room at some time and asked the same question... Was my name mentioned?!

There has been a fear instilled in everyone. What's next. The economy sucks. Work is no longer fulfilling or productive. It's every man for himself. And I hate to admit this, but I'm NOT the kind of person who fights that kind of war.

Quality of life, that's what it's about.


I've been getting to work at 8am every morning, which requires me to wake up at 5:45am, leave the house 6:45am, to get to work BEFORE 8 which is RARE!!! Leaving so early I wind up being late most times. There has yet to be a pocket of time I can find to miss the traffic and morning rush. I work and work, take a 30min-1hr lunch then I don't leave the office until 7pm (at the earliest) and most times I'm at the office until 8 or 9pm!!!! By that time, I get home after 10pm, don't get to eat dinner, have to go to sleep and then repeat the day again, being slammed by requests for these reports I create only for them never to be actually be used. I'm unproductive as far as I'm concerned... 10-13 hours of day of completely useless shit I put out. Not because I choose to, but b/c 'they' choose for me to do it.

Today, I walked into my office and was at my desk at 8am, only to be greeted by my director standing there already waiting to pounce. Great. Just what I need first thing in the morning. I got to listen to him tell me 'what he wants' for 45 minutes straight!! I didn't even get my morning caffeine jolt..AHHH!!!

I do what they say, I've questioned their logic, only to be told to 'do it anyway'. Great.

In my 'multiple' meetings today at work I literally pulled out bunches of hair, picked off every single bit of my nailpolish (went in with full-on wine colored nails, came out perfectly clear) and bit my nails down short and they are perfectly even and round... I am stressed. I am breaking out EVERYWHERE. Maybe it's hormones related to stress or vice versa. I experience body tremors every morning, palpitations throughout the day and just today, when I stand in one spot I feel like I"m going to fall over... I get sea-legs!!! Clearly, I am stressed.

I am depressed. I have finally accepted that. It's not just work, it's the baby thing too. Just the word baby makes me choke up a little bit.

I had a nice long 40 minute convo with Mike on my ride home from work tonight about everything. I tried my best to contain myself, but I couldn't. I cried. Everytime he says 'the baby' or 'po' ... I lose it. Totally lose it. I need to recover. I can't do it with this work shit going on.

Soooo with that said, I believe I'm going to be giving my 2 week notice. VERY SOON.

I've been wanting to leave my job for about a year now (since all the changes and non-stability)... This is it. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to crack or maybe I already have.

Back -- sorta?

Today I had my follow-up.

Doc checked me out - "everything 'feels' fine", he said. "Great!", I said.

It's been almost 3 weeks since my D&C. I haven't gotten my period yet. I was told I should most likely get it within a month from my D&C, and if I don't get it within 2 months, then I have to see the GYN again.

Well, Mike is happy we can finally 'do stuff' again. So am I.
I was just advised to not try and get pregnant right away. My uterus still has to thicken, it might not take long. How will I really know?! Doc says just wait until I start feeling 'normal' again. LOL. Okay. I guess that's also a way of saying, wait until you are ready...at least 1 cycle maybe?

Mike and I are sorta on the same page as far as trying again in April barring any other issues. It's funny, b/c when we got married, we said we wanted to try right away, but then couldn't go to Hawaii for my reunion this year, so instead we agreed on waiting until April. That changed almost immediately after getting married... But now, we are back to that month. In the case, if we get pregnant and it sticks, we will be expecting a Holiday baby.

On the emotional front...I've been tearing up almost everyday. When I see a new mom with her new baby, when I see children's books, when people talk about their pregnancies. It's hard. I just think to myself. "I miss my baby." ... I really do. And I don't know how I will ever get over it. Even when my GYN told me today that the tissue analysis confirmed it was so early there was no fetus. It still hurts having felt and been pregnant.

On a lighter note - I now fit into my old jeans and bras. w00t