O.M.G. -- somebody shoot me now!
There is drama in my family -- the italian side is surely coming out.
My dad's side of the family is Italian/German. I have one Aunt, Uncle, Cousin on my dad's side. That is all. Why? B/C back when I was little-r and my Great G-Ma died, all kinds of drama went down. Then, the family stopped talking to each other. All that was left for 'us' was my Dad and his sister.
My mom is 100% Japanese. I have to say - little drama, comparatively at least. Throughout my mom and dad's marriage my mom was always trying to please my dad. Anything he wanted, she'd jump and satisfy. As wrong as it sounds, I'm sure she satisfied in that way too. eck..next
My mom and dad got divorced when I was in college. Fun times I tell ya. Anyway, I saw the darker side of things through that process, and being the age I was, I was super analytical. I started thinking back to my childhood and things that happened and realizing they were all signs of a dysfunctional family leading to divorced parents.
I saw a side of my mom I hadn't really noticed before. Damn was she spiteful... some of that spitefulness ran off onto my older sis who... in her angst and hatred for my dad wanting to leave, untied all his ties (they were all pre-tied b/c he doesn't know how to tie them himself) and took all the shoe laces out of his shoes. My mom was okay with that. Lovely. I tried my best to not get involved and I was pretty much in the middle. I understand why my mom was upset, and I understood why my dad wanted a divorce albeit I didn't like the way he went about it. Nonetheless, life went on and the drama ensued.
Which brings us to now, 7 years later. My parents are divorced and still extremely bitter towards each other. My older sister, still spiteful. Never liked my now step-mother. I am the mediator, for reals. Like you wouldn't believe. Everyone telling me their side of the story, trying to get me to understand their perspective. Me trying to be unbiased. I understand where everyone is coming from, but some people just have their thoughts all jumbled and wrong. What they think of the other persons actions are totally skewed. No one thinks anyone can do anything nice for each other...and if they do, they make up some excuse to continue to dislike the other person. AHHHH I can try and try and try to make them see the way things really are, and that they are all shiny and good, and when I get to that point, I become the bad person, siding with the opposition. AHHH
My older sis is trying to plan her daughters 6th bday party. She lives with my mom since she too is divorced and raising a child on her own (mostly). My mom, due to a recent court thingy with my dad, has said that there is NO WAY she will allow 'that man' to step foot in her house. Not even for her granddaughter's birthday. I... do not blame her for this. She needs her space and catering to someone that you are having a bitter court battle with, is just not a good idea. It will not keep the sanity in check.
My older sister who, let me remind you, is not on my dad's 'side' and dislikes my step-mother, is mad at my mother, for not thinking of her granddaughter first. She thinks my mom is in the wrong for not letting her have a family party at her house. 'Cause I mean, "How Dare She?!"
Ugh. So... I chat with my older sis on facebook and I get the F-bombs thrown at me left and right, and "She's a bitch" and "He's and ass" and "why can't they grow up" and here I am thinking...
'Who needs to grow up?'NEXT TOPIC - Family Reunion
My Aunt (dad's sister) wants to go to Hawaii with us this year for our family reunion. I was psyched at the notion that my non-japanese relatives wanted to go! YAY!!! How fun!!
My dad and his now-wife were not happy to hear the news. My aunt purposely went to them to let them know 'gently' -- i guess and they just weren't having it.
My step-mom approached me because I "am the mediator" and I "would understand". Right. Okay. She told me she wasn't happy because "We don't have much family, she is the only family your dad has besides you guys (meaning me and me sisters)" ... and "he is really good at closing people out of his life".
Okay, so was that a hint? Does he plan on closing someone out of his life if they take a trip with his daughters and his ex-wife just happens to be there .. b/c.. you know -- she is his daughters mother? And -- okay, so you don't have much family left, does that mean the family that you do have has to cater to your every wish? Does this mean, YOU are supposed to be the most important part of family to them?? Geez, talk about bitterness and spitefulness.
Now, my aunt still hasn't gotten back to us on whether or not she will be attending the reunion, I am assuming -- it will be a no go. Last year my dad and step-mom closed her off from themselves b/c my aunt had defended us (me and my sisters) in front of my step-mom and it was just SO WRONG OF HER to do that. That pissed me off. Let me also just say, my step-mom is one of those 'privileged' people. She married a wealthy man, and then divorced him. She and my dad live in a 'ritzy' town that we will call 'Richcity' just for kicks. She likes to mention it all the time.
Me: "Oh neat, your highschool has a crew team...ours didn't"
Step-mom: "Well that's because this is Richcity, of course we have one, we do things a little differently here... C'mon, you should know that"
Are you kidding me? What the heck am I supposed to say to that?
Honestly, when I sat to write this, I thought I could fit it all into a small paragraph/blurb...but that totally didn't happen, so that is my rant.
Drama, drama, drama...
I can't deal. Yet...if I ignore and don't listen - I will become the bitch. Not my problem, I guess, but with all this spitefulness, you never know.
BTW -- I think this blog is going to wind up going private. There are too many prying eyes out there.
